Depression

I suspect one of the 3 year olds is having depression. But then again, I'm not too sure if it's just an attention seeking behavior or she's really in need of help.

The child is very emphatic, feels very sad when she watches movies/ cartoons that hit each other/ falls down (think: Tom and Jerry). She feels sad and pain when her friend complains of pain in the hand/body. She cries when she's left alone (still within sight, but not 100% attention), and cries in worry that her parents will not come pick her up from school (though she's assured a gazillion times a day).

Somehow I feel that it's her way of trying to seek attention, but seeing how she's so sensitive to rejection and fear of being abandoned, the extreme sadness that she portrays in the blink of an eye really scares me. I used to see joy in her, but now, I am not sure if she's happy. I think I need to talk to someone about this, just to have a clearer picture of depression in young children, before consulting the parents and scare them away.

Positive Energy

I woke up and decided to be happy and positive today. I faked smiles and happiness when I greeted the children, spoke in a nice and friendly manner (whenever I remember), dance and sing with my mouth hanging smiling from ear to ear, and talked slowly and exaggeratedly.

The children loved it. Though they are still not feeling well, whiny and all their usual self, but they are so eager to sing and dance with the class, and join in the class to do all the pretend play. The atmosphere was so lively and happy, it made me happy for real.

Now I truly understand and apply the principle of positive psychology, to start with being positive and pass the positive energy around! It works!

Psych

Last week I had to explain how ADHD 'happens' to my colleague.
Never knew I could explain about neurotransmitters and receivers and excitement and all. Biopsych is of use after all.

This reminds me I need to go through the edupsych and child dev psych texts as well now.

Question 1!

Ms W gave us really difficult quizzes last week, and marked the end of the quizzes for the semester for that subject.
Today after we hand in the assignment, she started counting the people in the class, "The class is very small today." This usually leads to her saying, "I have one hundred and fifty people in my class. There are only 140 of you now. Question one!"
So today when she started counting everyone too instinctively pulled out the quarter of an A4 paper and write their name. I did the same, follow my instincts, just in case she decides to punish those who did not come to give us a spelling quiz. Anyways. As we were waiting anxiously for her to finish counting, I told Serene who was sitting right beside me, "I don't get the point why everyone's so anxious. There are no more quizzes left you know." She agreed, as she was writting her name and student ID on the paper.

So Ms W decided that as much as she wants to punish those who did not come today, she isn't crazy about rewarding those who came either. "So what do you think? That I am soft?" "That sounds like I'm masuk angin or something."

Oh Ms W. She and her quizzes and rules and loud mumbling and all. I don't know if she likes the current batch more or that she's gotten used to the students she's been seeing for almost 3 years. But for this semester she's been much relaxed and joked a lot. I like this kind of her more, relaxed and more humane. YY used to say that I'm like Ms W, I don't know if she was meaning it in a positive or negative manner. But she is someone whom I admire a lot a lot. She is intelligent, fast paced, a person of principles, and means what she says. I know some people are intimidated by her, I do too. But I like her way, telling everything up front and sticking to everything that is said, no but's. That's how people should be isn't it? Science based, no nonsense, meaning what they say and not change their mind every 5 minutes.

I was just sitting in for one of her classes last week when I told myself, in a month's time, I'm going to miss her.

My Story

She once said that whatever is drawn in some way reflects the person. In this little exercise we did in class, of drawing a story, I realized how 'me' it was.

This is my story. As the lecturer instructed us to draw one frame at a time. Note that this is not pre-planned but drawn spontaneously. I never expected the story to turn out so similar to mine in real life. How explicitly portrayed my fears and concerns and beliefs of how it will all will turn out.

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First, draw the main character. It doesn't have to be human, but anything you like.

My main character is a 'human', kinda. "His" name is Haniya. (Girlie name I know. But oh well, I drew him a male)

Secondly, draw what the main character does/ likes to do/ always do.

Haniya loves taking pictures. He takes pictures of many things, important, unimportant. He just loves it, recording every detail that he finds interesting to keep.

Now, Introduce the bad guys/ enemy.

The bad guys are the mouths and eyes of people. They see and they speak. It is Haniya's worst enemies. They are everywhere. They would watch and speak as Haniya takes pictures. They are uncontrollable. Haniya begs for them to stop for it was too scary.

Then introduce the hero.

At that very fearful moment when he was about to breakdown, the hero appeared. The hero is actually Haniya himself, but the other side (the front side. Note how Haniya has been only the back side). Hero came in a cool cape and a big smile, with light coming from behind. Tada~
And he stabbed the eyes and taped the mouths, destroying all the enemies.

Outcome of the story

So now Haniya is free to roam and take his pictures as he wishes. See how he has grown wings now. And I forgot to color his hair black.

Give your story a title and a moral story.

The title: The Photography Angel's Story
Moral: Good will overcome evil (lame!)
But I added another one later, as I was processing my story: Believe in oneself is the greatest power.

Informed consent

---Note: This is a very psychology major people's joke. Do not attempt to feel dumb if you do not understand it for the many jargons used may not be relevant to lay people outside the field.---

One of our lecturers like to take marriage and romantic relationships as examples in class. Maybe she thinks we can relate that better than counseling stuff? Beats me, she is pretty... stereotypical kinda, she assumes things.

Anyways. Say you are a girl. You found out that your boyfriend's principle is only to marry a virgin. But you're not a virgin. So do you tell?
The lecturer's decision was to tell, to be frank and if the guy doesn't wanna accept than he is not for you. But some may opt to not tell till after marriage, let him discover himself, surprise! LOL

Then she mentioned like, giving informed consent, we have to tell the aim and purpose of the relationship and marriage, be frank and let each other know all the things, if the guy wish to withdraw from the relationship, no adverse action will be taken against him.

"Thank you for participating in this relationship. The purpose of the marriage will be to unite two lost souls from heaven yada yada yada. Your participation in this marriage is clearly very significant to the success of the marriage.
Your participation is on a voluntary basis. By participating you will be rewarded with a person called your wife. However you may choose not to participate and may terminate if you experience discomfort while completing the marriage preparation or ceremony. No adverse action will be taken against you for opting out (OK maybe your parents and friends and relatives will give you a hard time, but not from me!) I, however do not anticipate any risks that will result from your participation, except for some exhaustion in energy and wallet maybe.
If you have decided to take part, you need to be a bachelor aged 18 and above, but not too old please. If you choose to take part, you will be the only participant and you will be required to buy a house and a car and feed the children as well as my shopping expenses. You will not remain anonymous as you will become a husband in witness of many many people as well as the government. I will be with you throughout the process, and will be the only wife you'll ever have until divorce.
This marriage has been approved by my parents and maybe yours too. You can call me (You should know my number) if you have any problems with me.
() I have read and understood the above statements and decided to participate in the marriage.
-______-sign."

So I told Queenie who was sitting beside me, those who wishes to keep the secret to herself, can use the consent form too. Then after the marriage she can produce the debriefing statement saying, "Sorry you've been deceived. I am actually not a virgin. Thank you for your participation in the marriage. You may leave now."

Conference

ASEAN Regional Union of Psychological Societies

The crowd at the opening ceremony

Dr Goh at the opening ceremony

President (?) of Psychological Association of Malaysia:
Understanding Minds, Empowering Leaves.

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Mind blowing experience for me. As there were many mind-blowing information, plus caffeine overdosed, just because it was free. Proud to be Malaysian!

Basically it was going to sessions after sessions listening to researchers from different countries sharing their researches. Very wide variety of topics covered, but I attended those related to child development, play, eyewitness memory and child psychology in other countries.
It was pretty fun, listening to the interesting researches that people come up with, and the results they find...

I never thought that I would ever come so close to such intelligent people. Every time I read a journal, the authors just felt like some really ingenious people in another intelligent planet by themselves, totally separated land from my boring copycat land of dumbness. These people think of things people have never thought of, like really. In awe...

Learning to Play

Learning about play
It's really a lot of fun. Well, learning about the thing that interests me the most in the world is just awesome.
I've learned that I've been 'playing' with children the 'wrong' way. Somehow my way of speech and behavior could be detrimental to building children's esteem and their growth to their maximum potential.

Though play therapy isn't exactly my thing (repeating everything the child said, no stand/opinion in the play, mere observer and forced participation, cannot be any directive or voice my opinion) (sometimes I come up with my brilliant ideas when I play with kids, how am I to survive without suggesting to the kid what other wonders the toys can posisbly be?)
anyways... back to the sentence: though play therapy isn't exactly my thing, I've learned a lot from the classes. What to do to best build a child's confidence, letting the child to set his own pace and go with it, how to set limits and provide alternatives, that aggression is acceptable if it's controlled etc etc.

It's a really nice class, one of the very few topics that I felt really relevant and interesting. =)

My ERB got conditionally approved!

How great is that?!
But I'm starting work on Monday. Gosh I should have checked my stupid mail when I was in school this morning. Now how on earth am I going to collect the document? *pfft*

Substance Abuse textbook is very informative indeed

I want my antidepressant drug or sedative drug whatever.
I want to sleep in peace without waking up until the end of December
I need to relax physically and mentally.
I wanna feel euphoric and stop being so grumpy about everything happening aroung me.
I want my drug.

Solution

chatting over the dinner table, while waiting for the extra ordered dishes to arrive at the table.

it's cool to see people talking about psychology when they know it, though they did not get everythign correct, but it's obvious that they know more than any laymen do.

it's funny how she mentioned Aaron Beck. whoever he is, I thought he's in cognitive psych, but to mention cog psych to laymen was a little too much, oh well, not that i remember what he did anyways. Wait, let me google. Awesome, my memory sure serves me well, he's the father of cog psych. =)

Anyways. I told them the goal is not to solve the problem, but to help the person cope better. It's amusing how they insisted that it was 'curing' and solving the problem in that sense. Dad insisted that sometimes there is no solution, which I agree.

Depending on which stand you're from, the same symptoms are approached and treated differently from a psychiatrist, psychologist or a counselor's view. For these 3 are so similar from a laymen's perspective, I don't blame them for mixing it all together.

Movie Screening

Today is a class-less day. Yet I went to school.

Because the film psychology class was having their screening of the students' own made movies. 10minute films, to be more exact.

Anyways, I had so much fun.

The films were awesome max, some of it so professional and nicely done and editted. Perfectness.

Some stories though, were lame and typical, but some really has some content and great ideas behind. The interview after life (death), the love letter in the library book (like the Korean show I watched, but this time the actors are actually real people I see almost everyday), the question that random people come to answer, etc.

While some editing was clearly unprofessional, some was totally awesome.

The implications of the theories were mostly, kind of awkward and seemed forced in, but heck I don't care.

I'm impressed.

Next week there'll be more. =)

When I watched the films, many things went through my mind, of how I would want my movie to be filmed, if I ever take up the subject that is.

I want it like this, like this and like that. I don't want how it goes like this like this. Then I got excited over my own film.

Then I remember it will be a group work and heck, if I do it my way it would be a lot of work, and I'm sure people will want to have some say in the work as well.

CRAZY

Sometimes I think I'm too picky over small things. Sometimes I just think people can do better.

Sometimes I think I'm too focused on too nitty-gritty stuff I forget about the big picture. Sometimes I just wonder why I always see fault in others. Sometimes I think I should blame other people.

These few days I have the urge of crying out loud "I AM CRAZY". I wish I can do it freely without the pressure of, "you're a psych student, you should know the meaning of that word (crazy) and you should not simply use it."

Just like how 'depressed', 'insane', 'ego', and some other words; sometimes I just wish I can use it freely like a non-psych student without feeling guilt.

Are you kidding me?!

SEGI actually offers Bachelor in Early Childhood. Hmm, things could have been different if I have taken that course. For better or worse...

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The girl. I said her work was too short. She made it longer. Great. 1 page is so long for her. GRR!! People are just asses you know

Psych in lay men terms

There is a thin line bet crazy people (schizoprenic) and the rest of us

I mean we all have voices in our heads

our parents are in there, our doubts, our fears, our desires

and just like crazy people, we all struggle to know which voices to listen to.

maybe one trick to solving it all out is to be careful of what voices you let in in the first place.

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we all create in our heads who we are, and who we want others to be, and how we view ourselves. Hero, victim, love, unloved, it changes all the time.

Those little neurons sparkle off working overtime, creating what we believe

so in that way, the mind kind of works like magic, making what we desire happen.

And in the end, maybe the trick to sorting it all out, is trusting your voice. And being true to yourself. Chasing your ....

you know, al the like marching to the beat of your own whatever.

=Dead Like Me, Season 1 Ep 7=

perhaps i'm never meant to be a counselor

had a small talk to the girl in the car. it seems my predictions were correct (afterall I'm a psych student), she feels insignificant, insecure and inferior and numbed to feel and have thought of suicide. *gasp*

I bet the parents don't know about this or anything deep of her.

I popped questions like "Why" "How do you define that" "so what?" etc and try to explain to her what some things meant like happiness, talent and friends, the difference between can't and doesn't etc. Not sure how well my message went across, not sure how much she understands and interprets correctly.

Worrying that she might think to the wrong directions I kind of made a short wrap up as we drive round hte block. I don't know what else to say than to share my piece of advise that may seem too vague for her...

Duty to warn perhaps, the parents who never seem to care? Or it's normal for a teenager to be insearch of her identity?

Phobias

anuptaphobia: fear of staying single

caligynephobia: fear of beautiful women

xanthophobia: fear of the color yellow

anglophobia: fear of Englan or the English (I call it the Angmohphobia)

anthrophobia: fear of humans

cathisophobia: fear of sitting

arachibutyrophobia: fear of peanut butter sticking to roof of mouth (now that's something one should panic about!)

bibliophobia: fear of books (every student should get this! or at least fear the textbook)

cyberphobia: fear of computers

euphobia: fear of good news

geniophobia: fear of chins

linonophobia: fear of strings (lino-no-phobia? counter the fear?)

metrophobia: fear of peotry

novercaphobia: fear of one's stepmother ( I call it the too-much-cinderalla-story-syndrome)

optophobia: fear of opening ones eyes (I wonder if it comes suddenly or since birth)

parthophobia: fear of virgins

sinophobia: fear of Chinese/China

meningitophobia: fear of meningitis (how?!)

pentheraphobia: fear of mother-in-law (good one unless you're the mother-in-law)

interesting, interesting, isn't it? Though some phobias are really funny/cute/feel-like-nonsense but I guess people do suffer from it, no matter how absurd it may seem. That's the power of the human mind...

I personally absurdly fear a lot of stuff, but not to the extent of being phobic I guess. Thank goodness.

I'm an intrapersonal thinker (for now)

Intrapersonal thinkers:

• Spend a lot of time thinking about and trying to understand themselves
• Reflect on their thoughts and moods, and work to improve them
• You understand how your behaviour affects your relationships with others

Other Intrapersonal thinkers include
Sigmund Freud, Gandhi, Grahame Greene

Careers which suit Intrapersonal Thinkers include
Psychologist, Teacher, Pilot, Child care worker, Explorer, Drama therapist

=) I'm on the right track. For now at least. Check yourself out here.

Gory pictures

It's such a regret that we forgot to put our gory pictures in for our serial killer assignment. =(
What's done can't be undone. My personal fav is the one with blood all over the dismembered body on the bed. Resembles what I have in mind of our case so well...

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"Once you know something you can't unknow it. That's like the curse of knowledge." "Winnee, 2009)

Serial Killer Assessment

Today's assessment with Ms Winnee was disaster.
Does it mean that we've failed to be serial killers?

Obviously Ms Winnee doesn't find our very Malaysianized signature funny, or of anyhow interesting.

Haven't been that intensely afraid/nervous/shaky for a very long time now...
KK say I spoke so softly and not normal, but like a girl.*roll eyes*
I'll not take that as I always sound like a man.

But I'm so happy that Ms Winnee kinda likes me. LOL
OK she remembered YY's name... Hmm kinda jealous but anyhoos, she gave me lots of chances to make my answer correct. Guess she 'favors' me? *hip hip hooray*

KK says her botox face is expresion-less. Which is true, but only for the expression-less part. How dare she insult my idol. Plus, I think Ms Winnee mentioned that she enjoys the power to intimidate someone just by a stare, which is really cool for the intimidator, but really traumatic for the person who's standing in front of the stare.
Anyways, I'd like to develop that stare! Though I know it's not an easy thing. =)