People like to tell me, "Your English is good," and soon they'll quickly add, "Can you help me with a document?"
I'm used to it, nothing really, but it doesn't always end up a happy chore.
See, I may speak English and write English slightly better than them, but I do not do documents professionally. Often times when I send the documents back to the person they'd say, "What are you trying to say, your English too good, I can't understand. Can you change it?" or "Wah, like this ar, I ask my xxx to check and see." I wouldn't bother too much if it's the first time, but 2nd, 3rd and 4th time it frustrates me because SINCE YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT MY ENGLISH IS TOO EFFING GOOD FOR YOU WHY DONT YOU DO IT YOURSELF OR ASK SOMEONE ELSE WITH POORER ENGLISH TO DO FOR YOU?
Please lah, don't tell me "Your English very good" when you reject my work. I said I'd try my best but I'm not a writer or anything alright? I do not need your so called praise. Seriously.
Not that this has happened recently, just something came up which reminded me of a past incident which I haven't remember to vent out the unhappiness. Haha. I guess, I forgive, but never forget. Sigh, I'm so done with Malaysians. I'm gonna migrate, to Mars maybe.
Showing posts with label Fire up. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fire up. Show all posts
STOP
STOP THROWING YOUR effing 200 BUCKS AT MY FACE DAMMIT! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?! %^#&$^$^#&&!&!
일
계속 할까 그만 둘까?
지금 이런 상황에 나도 그냥 떠나면 안돼지...
근데 매 년 이런 힘들때 그만두는 생각도 난다.
너는? 거기 멀리 멀리 있고 말하면 해 아무것도 안하고 우리 여기서 죽거나 살거나 관심있어? 너 돈만 관심해. 우리 사람아니고 돈 만들는 법이다. 이 생각 들면 화가 나. 너는 뭐야?! 그 조금만 월급을 주면 다야?! 너는 무슨! 꺼져! 꺼지라고! 야아아아아아아! 너 뭐야?!?!
애들 생각하면 아깝다. 널 생각하면 사람 때리고 싶어.
이제 어떻게.. 어떻게 하니 ?
지금 이런 상황에 나도 그냥 떠나면 안돼지...
근데 매 년 이런 힘들때 그만두는 생각도 난다.
너는? 거기 멀리 멀리 있고 말하면 해 아무것도 안하고 우리 여기서 죽거나 살거나 관심있어? 너 돈만 관심해. 우리 사람아니고 돈 만들는 법이다. 이 생각 들면 화가 나. 너는 뭐야?! 그 조금만 월급을 주면 다야?! 너는 무슨! 꺼져! 꺼지라고! 야아아아아아아! 너 뭐야?!?!
애들 생각하면 아깝다. 널 생각하면 사람 때리고 싶어.
이제 어떻게.. 어떻게 하니 ?
You
Sometimes I wonder if you still care as much, or even care enough. I know I'm not to judge, but it's affecting not just you, but me and everyone else. Your tantrums, your inefficiency, your lack of attention and care to everyone. And mind you, it's your job to care.
I feel bad for knowing your little secrets. Sometimes when you do certain decisions I can't help but to judge you based on the little secrets. I hate trying to pretend I don't know a thing when I'm also a culprit, I hate it that my conscience always steps out to help you say nice things to other people so they wouldn't judge you negatively. And I wonder, many times, if you have more secrets to keep from us.
I see your selfishness, I try to tell myself that everyone is selfish and so am I.
I see your little tricks, how you so confidently squirm through 'obstacles' that would keep you from reaching your goals, which are not always nice things.
I look up to your confidence and wisdom, yet despise your smart little tricks to make things easier for you while it brings problems to others. It's oxymoronic, sometimes I explode when I've had enough, but you take it for granted that I only blow up once in a long while.
Nobody's perfect. I know that. I just wished that you're more ambitious in the morale and conscience aspects, that's all.
I feel bad for knowing your little secrets. Sometimes when you do certain decisions I can't help but to judge you based on the little secrets. I hate trying to pretend I don't know a thing when I'm also a culprit, I hate it that my conscience always steps out to help you say nice things to other people so they wouldn't judge you negatively. And I wonder, many times, if you have more secrets to keep from us.
I see your selfishness, I try to tell myself that everyone is selfish and so am I.
I see your little tricks, how you so confidently squirm through 'obstacles' that would keep you from reaching your goals, which are not always nice things.
I look up to your confidence and wisdom, yet despise your smart little tricks to make things easier for you while it brings problems to others. It's oxymoronic, sometimes I explode when I've had enough, but you take it for granted that I only blow up once in a long while.
Nobody's perfect. I know that. I just wished that you're more ambitious in the morale and conscience aspects, that's all.
Shout outs
>There are just people and their work, which makes you want to shout out "AMAZING!" in the most sarcastic way ever possible and roll your eyes big time.
>I don't understand stupid logic. seriously.
>Most days I feel inadequate and lacking. And when I look at you, I think that's what makes me a better person than you.
> Loosen things up and just have fun. It'll be just fun. Why so serious?
>Phone off. FB off. Lights off. I'm hiding away from the world.
-----
some facebook quotes which I just agree with but too bad can't share 25 photos at a time because that's not [being nice, and we're supposed to "take care of ourselves and others" rule#1. Rule#1.3 when you say mean things you're not taking care of others because it hurts their feelings. ] Oh I just love classroom rules.
1. Sorry, I'm allergic to your bullshit
2. I'm desperately trying to see your point of view, but I just can't stick my head that far up my butt.
3. If you don't want a sarcastic answer, don't ask a stupid question.
4. I shall never underestimate the stupidity of idiots.
5. You have the right to remain silent. Oh, you lack that ability.
6. Just because you don't get it doesn't mean it's stupid. It means you are.
7. I don't hate people. I just feel better when they're not around
8. Honesty is an expensive gift. Don't expect it from cheap people.
9. Everything happens for a reason. But sometimes the reason is that you're stupid and you made a bad decision.
10. Women are not moody. We simply have days when we are less inclined to put up with your shit.
11. Can't ever finish cleaning up my room because I always get distracted by the things I find.
12. I'm keeping my dream alive. Just hit the snooze button.
13. when someone compliments my hair, "Thanks! I grew it myself!"
14. There is a certain happiness in being silly and ridiculous.
15. You can't be OLD and WISE if you haven't been YOUNG and CRAZY
So. I guess the news is out. Kinda.
It's been a semi-secret. I never told anyone, except 2 very close friends, and my family.
But I guess when you don't tell people not to tell, they just tell.
So guess what. Almost everyone knows now.
Now that it's out. I'm relieved and more stressed about it.
Here it goes. I'm applying for a masters degree in Korea. Not so much because I want to study, blergh, but I just want to get out of here and practise my lousy-fying Korean.
The one friend who is a colleague broke it out in front of the other colleagues.
The family who gotten to know posted it on my FB wall for more people to know.
I'm not trying to hide, but it's all so uncertain now. At least till tomorrow morning, I won't know if I have passed the preliminary knock-out round to make it pass the 2nd round interview. I'm planning this and that; if the announcement comes out tomorrow and my name is not there, it will be a huge disappointment for me. And I don't need all the looks and comforting talks from the unrelated people.
For another time, I want to do something, and I want to do it my way. Not with anyone butting into it giving their honest wise concerned advise and clever ideas. Wish you'd all just butt out. You can come visit when I am there, but for now, just freaggin back off.
But I guess when you don't tell people not to tell, they just tell.
So guess what. Almost everyone knows now.
Now that it's out. I'm relieved and more stressed about it.
Here it goes. I'm applying for a masters degree in Korea. Not so much because I want to study, blergh, but I just want to get out of here and practise my lousy-fying Korean.
The one friend who is a colleague broke it out in front of the other colleagues.
The family who gotten to know posted it on my FB wall for more people to know.
I'm not trying to hide, but it's all so uncertain now. At least till tomorrow morning, I won't know if I have passed the preliminary knock-out round to make it pass the 2nd round interview. I'm planning this and that; if the announcement comes out tomorrow and my name is not there, it will be a huge disappointment for me. And I don't need all the looks and comforting talks from the unrelated people.
For another time, I want to do something, and I want to do it my way. Not with anyone butting into it giving their honest wise concerned advise and clever ideas. Wish you'd all just butt out. You can come visit when I am there, but for now, just freaggin back off.
Frustration
[this is a long sad frustrating rant, for the longetivity of your eyes please skip]
So I woke up in a not positive mood. But it wasn't that bad.
The minute I got to work, I haven't even put my keys and stuff down, the sup questioned us about the classroom doors and windows. Apparently they were left open for the entire day before. And apparently I was the last to use the classroom because the students in the class used other people's class in the afternoon so no one went into the class after mine. Fark. Then we were lectured a bit and given the long face, and in the end it was turned to me. From then onwards it's my responsibility to close all doors and windows after my class. I'm not mad over the fact that I have to do that everyday, but the fact that what wasn't my problem was pushed to me to fix. I was effing blowing fire. I told myself that the sup is most probably hormonal as well as she doesn't talk meanly usually, but heck it hurted my stupid temper.
Then it was snack time for the kids. I was the teaching assistant for the class, but when the class got down with the teacher I was busy handling a random kid who faced some difficulties in the toilet. I saw the teacher there with the snacks so I thought she would serve it. But then by the time I walked to the children they were still there waiting, and minutes have passed. I went into the kitchen and saw the freaking teacher serving herself to lunch. And it was only 11.15am! My effing goodness! Are you so effing hungry? 哇，你有这么饿吗？I don't understand how hungry can a teacher be to waste her students time waiting for their snack fark.
In the afternoon we had a meeting. I understand that some things are harder to do now as the kids have grown up, but I expected some willingness to do something from the class teachers. I was furious at the fact that the sup was helping the lazy teacher to be lazy. A parent requested for something twice, and all they did was give lame excuses and not try to make any effort to deliver 1% of it. I was so pissed at the entire system and leeway for lazy brats.
Then the boss came and give his lecture. I'm sure everyone knows of someone who can keep talking non-stop and goes around in the same loop over and over and over again because they don't have anything better to say? Well, many men who try to be talkative are like that, I know quite a few. Just so happened he is one, plus he's so easily distracted in the middle of the conversation he can divert into some random pointless small talk, which made everyone wait like idiots. It was like, per-lease talk faster and come to the important point. Gosh it was so hypnotizing and idiotic.
Me and my hormones and my temper were pushed to the max. I rolled my eyes, I made my face, I act out my boredom of listening to crap. But you know, some people just don't get it. So yeah.
During the afternoon class the teaching assistant, who is also the person mentioned above, 'assisted' the ass of my class. Always it's been like this, sitting at the corner, enjoying the air-conditioner while spacing off, not attending to the children nor the class, doing bare minimum to survive. I can take it usually. I've taken it all in quietly for so many weeks now, but yesterday I was hormonal and have taken all the suckers all day I totally couldn't take it anymore. I raised my voice, but I didn't kill her.
You know, like what many has seen on the internet and yes it's so true to my dear heart, some people are still alive because it's illegal to kill them.
At night I did some activities which calmed me down. I prepared some fun teaching materials while watching a simple love story, I didn't feel that explosive anymore thank goodness. And I thought it wasn't such a bad idea not going home or I would explore and kill the family.
But heck it was a bad bad day I could have exploded and really kill someone, perhaps myself.
不好意思 纯粹有感而发
你这个烂人！没有好的榜样也就算了，这是搞什么东西？这么贪新忘旧，浪费食物，啰里啰唆，顶你个肺，烂人烂人，上梁不正，异想天开，一二三四，什么东西，懒懒懒懒，烂烂烂烂， ……
休想我见你着烂人的屎来吃。你这个烂人！自从上一次磨擦之后我就看清看透你的烂本性！我忍着气你就以为我好欺负！ 你少惹我，我也是有脾气的！一次生两次熟， 这次我看透也看够你的坏习惯和坏性格了！你这个屁股人，看我怎么收拾你！屁股你呀！
grr
fed up with the newly bought laminator that has broken down for the second time. i have no understanding of how many times a brand new machine can break down every single time it's used, and it's barely a week since its purchase.
I totally wrote a nice email to scold the person in charge. how can a person sell a stupid faulty machine to a school. it's as if we don't have anything better to do than to chase around a faulty machine. grrr
Hey!
I never did, and sometimes a little regret that I never did, announce that I'm a preschool teacher. It has always been my dream job to be one, and I'm glad that I decided to be one for it's one of the best jobs in the world. And I'm so proud to be a preschool teacher.
Being a preschool teacher is awesome, I get paid for playing. I bring fun and joy and knowledge to people. It's as good as, or even better, than being a psychologist or a mental health professional, which is only one of the super many things a psychology major can venture into. So please stop judging with your wrongly stereotypical minds! It's nothing weird or lowly or wrong about it, so stop giving me that look or question that makes you sound stupid and makes me wonder why I bother to know people like you. Please.
Being a preschool teacher is awesome, I get paid for playing. I bring fun and joy and knowledge to people. It's as good as, or even better, than being a psychologist or a mental health professional, which is only one of the super many things a psychology major can venture into. So please stop judging with your wrongly stereotypical minds! It's nothing weird or lowly or wrong about it, so stop giving me that look or question that makes you sound stupid and makes me wonder why I bother to know people like you. Please.
Marks
I graded the intern colleague for her practicum. I didn't feel powerful and authorized like I imagined I would. Instead, I felt obligated to conform and be nice and lenient.
After twice assessing, from pretty good marks to even better, I was asked to add the marks again. Frankly I wasn't in a great friendly mood due to some dissatisfaction of the person after some observation and feedback (don't worry about the confusion as this sentence is not written for anyone's understanding of the situation). Anyways. I felt cornered and obligated to add marks, though I felt awfully disgusted by the greed and discontentment.
After some persuasion I did complied like a brainless idiot, and after the girls recalculated their new marks, they expressed that the points I added just added 0.5 marks, which makes no difference at all. Excuse me?
I don't wanna say this cuz I don't wanna compare, but back in HELP, we would fight and be so happy even for 0.1 marks for it makes all the difference in the world (thanks to Ms Winnee for the enlightenment and brainwash!!). I gave her 4 marks extra and added a 0.5 percent in her total grade and that's all she can say? I felt so sad and disappointed. Very.
It proved my observation right indeed. Suddenly I became negative and distrustful.
After twice assessing, from pretty good marks to even better, I was asked to add the marks again. Frankly I wasn't in a great friendly mood due to some dissatisfaction of the person after some observation and feedback (don't worry about the confusion as this sentence is not written for anyone's understanding of the situation). Anyways. I felt cornered and obligated to add marks, though I felt awfully disgusted by the greed and discontentment.
After some persuasion I did complied like a brainless idiot, and after the girls recalculated their new marks, they expressed that the points I added just added 0.5 marks, which makes no difference at all. Excuse me?
I don't wanna say this cuz I don't wanna compare, but back in HELP, we would fight and be so happy even for 0.1 marks for it makes all the difference in the world (thanks to Ms Winnee for the enlightenment and brainwash!!). I gave her 4 marks extra and added a 0.5 percent in her total grade and that's all she can say? I felt so sad and disappointed. Very.
It proved my observation right indeed. Suddenly I became negative and distrustful.
PMS
I'm so done with the day. I was done with the day since before 9am. WTH.
Early morning 2 kids pooped big time, big mess, uber smelly, everywhere, you name it.
Then some nasty comments attack. I've had it. I'm being ordered around without being paid or no shit, and I'm not even asking for appreciation, but you're shooting at me with all the bull shit. I'm done with you shit. Urgh. I hate it.
All this horrible things and people to go through with the PMS. Grr. I don't wanna blame the PMS, but I've had it ok, I have wonderful days which I can pretend I'm fine and everything's great, but today's just not it.
Early morning 2 kids pooped big time, big mess, uber smelly, everywhere, you name it.
Then some nasty comments attack. I've had it. I'm being ordered around without being paid or no shit, and I'm not even asking for appreciation, but you're shooting at me with all the bull shit. I'm done with you shit. Urgh. I hate it.
All this horrible things and people to go through with the PMS. Grr. I don't wanna blame the PMS, but I've had it ok, I have wonderful days which I can pretend I'm fine and everything's great, but today's just not it.
Exhausted
7.30am leave house
8.50am reach workplace
8.50 work till 6.30
6.30 leave workplace
8.20 reach house
I love the rain but hate the traffic jam.
8.50am reach workplace
8.50 work till 6.30
6.30 leave workplace
8.20 reach house
I love the rain but hate the traffic jam.
Emocoaster
I know you're not in a good mood, but getting me to listen to you whine while the kids are there without a person overlooking, blaming people for what is not our fault, reprimanding me for confusing you when I try to help, what is this?
I've had a tiring day too. It's a hot and humid day and I have to stay outside and have the kids wipe paints on my clothing. I have to wash the kids hands risking more bubbles on my stupid-water-sensitive hand which are growing more bubbles by the day. I'm hungry but it's not the right time to eat yet. I'm busy overlooking the kids and their activities. I'm not in a great mood too.
I'm not the fault behind all these, so is not the others. It's not our fault that there is no one to clean, and it went under your division. Sort it out with the person-in-charge, don't come showering your unhappiness on me. Just because I'm nice and never said anything, it doesn't mean I can't be hurt and affected by your negativity. I'm trying very hard to stay positive, if you're not helping please go away.
I've had a tiring day too. It's a hot and humid day and I have to stay outside and have the kids wipe paints on my clothing. I have to wash the kids hands risking more bubbles on my stupid-water-sensitive hand which are growing more bubbles by the day. I'm hungry but it's not the right time to eat yet. I'm busy overlooking the kids and their activities. I'm not in a great mood too.
I'm not the fault behind all these, so is not the others. It's not our fault that there is no one to clean, and it went under your division. Sort it out with the person-in-charge, don't come showering your unhappiness on me. Just because I'm nice and never said anything, it doesn't mean I can't be hurt and affected by your negativity. I'm trying very hard to stay positive, if you're not helping please go away.
Pek Chek
Pek chek wanna die ok. So many things to do. The sick, the bully, the wet, the poop, the stinking toilet, the worksheets, the syllabus, the new people, art materials, this and that, all want me to do in one day. And here you come nagging me away on the tiniest thing possible on a day with high hormone and high stress and so little time. I hate last minute work ok, and my memory span of a gold fish is not helping at all. Kill the slow internet connection, kill the lagging computer, kill the annoying busybody, kill the surveillance, kill the hot weather, kill the stickiness, kill the hormones, kill the time limit, kill all the things that are against me and my happiness! Gosh! Kill! Kill! Kill!
Being Mean
Well I usually am not very straightforward at being mean. ...
I was sitting here at this stuffy and quiet corner of the school, occasionally one or two people walk by, at times groups of people pass by hoo-ha-ing.
Then came these 3 girls, joining me at this big table. They talked loudly and decided to role play and have a 'board discussion'. None of my business anyways. I plugged in my earphones and turned on the music.
Then one of the girls sitting at the table pulled the table away. Just a little bit, but I was typing on the computer on the table you see. So, without thinking much, I shot her a mean glance; with my head and posture remaining still, my eyes looked up and gave her a good stare for like half a second or so. It happens that she caught the mean stare, immediately apologize softly in intimidation.
LOL This might be my first unintentional, "impulsive" aggression directed directly to a person! LOL And the person was frightened bleh. So cool. It actually felt really good, instead of being angry quietly at the back of the person. The anger and annoyance lasted for a brief second or two, instead of minutes or hours or days, plus I didn't have to think nonsense.
Hmm. Maybe I should do it more?
Stayed underground all day. Thanks to the campus that was 'built' (I think can substitute the word 'buried' here) underground.
As the term implies, being underground doesn't allow any sun light into the rooms. It's always gloomy and creepy, always lighted with artificial lighting.
I can't spend too much time in there. I'd feel trapped, and would grow mold on me.
I was sitting here at this stuffy and quiet corner of the school, occasionally one or two people walk by, at times groups of people pass by hoo-ha-ing.
Then came these 3 girls, joining me at this big table. They talked loudly and decided to role play and have a 'board discussion'. None of my business anyways. I plugged in my earphones and turned on the music.
Then one of the girls sitting at the table pulled the table away. Just a little bit, but I was typing on the computer on the table you see. So, without thinking much, I shot her a mean glance; with my head and posture remaining still, my eyes looked up and gave her a good stare for like half a second or so. It happens that she caught the mean stare, immediately apologize softly in intimidation.
LOL This might be my first unintentional, "impulsive" aggression directed directly to a person! LOL And the person was frightened bleh. So cool. It actually felt really good, instead of being angry quietly at the back of the person. The anger and annoyance lasted for a brief second or two, instead of minutes or hours or days, plus I didn't have to think nonsense.
Hmm. Maybe I should do it more?
-----
Stayed underground all day. Thanks to the campus that was 'built' (I think can substitute the word 'buried' here) underground.
As the term implies, being underground doesn't allow any sun light into the rooms. It's always gloomy and creepy, always lighted with artificial lighting.
I can't spend too much time in there. I'd feel trapped, and would grow mold on me.
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