Did I tell you how awesome my job is?
I "work" practically all the time.
Driving while listening to my class' music
Singing to any songs to train my vocals (*wink* I'm slowly developing stronger vocals now, thank goodness!)
When I can grab a kid (baby/toddler) I just break into bouncing and singing, they just love it, and I can practice while playing with them!
But the awesome thing is I can prepare for work while I do so many other things together. I can Facebook/ read K-pop news (not that I do much) while song are played so that they are drilled into my head, and when the class comes I can sing and dance to it like *snap* piece of cake.
I'm learning to enjoy practicing the piano, although any higher grades' materials are still difficult and finds me very lazy to look at it. But I'm progressing, like a snail.
I may enjoy it very much, but it isn't what I'm looking for. Maybe something part time just for the fun of it. I still want to be in a play-school. I knew it when I read "The Secret" I realized this wasn't in my dream. I'm planning. It may take years, it may not. But it's going to happen.
Showing posts with label Work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Work. Show all posts
Homework Day
It's a Homework Day. I've been postponing this homework day for the longest time, and my classes are coming unprepared. So today I did some extra homework.
I'm thinking of getting a galaxy note, and store all the songs in and bring them whenever I go. I like the song "Ping Pong Samba" with a samba tune which was just lovely, "A Ram Sam Sam" and some other songs with nonsense lyrics but so fun to sing along with.
I was so happy and glad that my job requires me to sit back and enjoy music, preparing it in the funnest ways. It's a nice job, it really is, the preparation is not easy, but it's fun. And the classes are fun and enjoyable. =) Despite the utter hatred towards piano lessons, I love the MG classes to bits.
I know I'm so going to miss the lessons and the children when I go to Korea, but I'll be back to see them again, right? If they're still continuing with the class that is. =S
I was sitting there right in front of our TV using the power plug, listening to the songs with my old laptop. Speaking of which it's really old but still functionable, but today as I turned up the volume I realize the speakers are slowly aging too. And it's almost noon when my maid came over and said, "eh wayang saya sudah buat oh!" And it was time to pack up the things and hand her flat-screen TV 'back' to her. Gosh. I thought I was the boss. Dam. What has the world come to. Right at that moment I hate equality.
I'm thinking of getting a galaxy note, and store all the songs in and bring them whenever I go. I like the song "Ping Pong Samba" with a samba tune which was just lovely, "A Ram Sam Sam" and some other songs with nonsense lyrics but so fun to sing along with.
I was so happy and glad that my job requires me to sit back and enjoy music, preparing it in the funnest ways. It's a nice job, it really is, the preparation is not easy, but it's fun. And the classes are fun and enjoyable. =) Despite the utter hatred towards piano lessons, I love the MG classes to bits.
I know I'm so going to miss the lessons and the children when I go to Korea, but I'll be back to see them again, right? If they're still continuing with the class that is. =S
I was sitting there right in front of our TV using the power plug, listening to the songs with my old laptop. Speaking of which it's really old but still functionable, but today as I turned up the volume I realize the speakers are slowly aging too. And it's almost noon when my maid came over and said, "eh wayang saya sudah buat oh!" And it was time to pack up the things and hand her flat-screen TV 'back' to her. Gosh. I thought I was the boss. Dam. What has the world come to. Right at that moment I hate equality.
I arrived at work feeling super slow and down. It wasn't the best day of my working life, nothing happened, yet the dark grey clouds whirling inside of me is not making a dull working session bearable. I sat there doing my mundane work, keying in data, compiling the documents, mindlessly going through the work which I have been doing for the last 3 months.
Then I felt it. I was going to cry, right there and then in the reception area, in front of the teachers and students who are just going through their one more day of life.
I don't get it. Why am I doing this to myself? I know it's the hormones coming up, but why am I doing this, something which I haven't found meaning to, yet keep striving to carry on just because the hours are great and it pays handsomely...
I think my parents are glad that I'm finally doing this, teaching music. When I was young and attended piano lessons, dad would wish that I can be a piano teacher when I grow up, which I insisted that I wouldn't. But now, where am I? Doing the very thing my dad has wished for and not happy.
Not doing well, at all. I'm slowly losing the passion to work. I drag my feet to classes, and as much as I try to come up with new things to play about in class, how am I supposed to teach the children the fun of piano when I don't enjoy it myself? It's killing me, it's killing the joy of my play-and-learn class too.
I used to plan and practise for my play-and-learn class weeks in advance, carrying out the games and activities in my hall with an empty audience, and of course disturbing my sister's afternoon nap, or the maid's TV session. Then I was having fun. Now I struggle to put myself to plan and practise even for that, what I enjoyed so much.
Weekends are bad, because most classes are on the weekends, and mostly are piano classes. Every weekend children come in to learn how to work the machine with black and white keys. The book/instruction manual will say crotchet C, and they have to press the button C for one count. Quaver D, means half the time of the one, and the next button after C.
It's boring, it's frustrating, it's meaningless, it's not enjoyable, it's just working out a machine and try to make out a musical piece if you're lucky enough. This is not music as I define, it's memorization and regurgitation without understanding what's happening.
One girl who's barely 4 wanted to learn piano. Barely FOUR. Can't even speak well nor understand enough English to comprehend, need less to say, Italian terms would have to wait for another 3-4 years before they can be memorized. She's just learning to write, she can't control her own fingers well enough for fine motor activities, let alone hitting the piano machine. I looked at her sitting in my class and felt sinful. I know I'm killing the musicality in the girl. She's going to give up sooner than we can say 'piano'.
ShinShin said I'm lost. Yup, "lost" seems like an appropriate word. I can't bring myself to think that I'm doing it all just for the pay. I'm slowly losing it yet I feel that I need to carry on to save up enough for my upcoming trip.
Perhaps it's not for me after all, it's not working out, isn't it?
Then I felt it. I was going to cry, right there and then in the reception area, in front of the teachers and students who are just going through their one more day of life.
I don't get it. Why am I doing this to myself? I know it's the hormones coming up, but why am I doing this, something which I haven't found meaning to, yet keep striving to carry on just because the hours are great and it pays handsomely...
I think my parents are glad that I'm finally doing this, teaching music. When I was young and attended piano lessons, dad would wish that I can be a piano teacher when I grow up, which I insisted that I wouldn't. But now, where am I? Doing the very thing my dad has wished for and not happy.
Not doing well, at all. I'm slowly losing the passion to work. I drag my feet to classes, and as much as I try to come up with new things to play about in class, how am I supposed to teach the children the fun of piano when I don't enjoy it myself? It's killing me, it's killing the joy of my play-and-learn class too.
I used to plan and practise for my play-and-learn class weeks in advance, carrying out the games and activities in my hall with an empty audience, and of course disturbing my sister's afternoon nap, or the maid's TV session. Then I was having fun. Now I struggle to put myself to plan and practise even for that, what I enjoyed so much.
Weekends are bad, because most classes are on the weekends, and mostly are piano classes. Every weekend children come in to learn how to work the machine with black and white keys. The book/instruction manual will say crotchet C, and they have to press the button C for one count. Quaver D, means half the time of the one, and the next button after C.
It's boring, it's frustrating, it's meaningless, it's not enjoyable, it's just working out a machine and try to make out a musical piece if you're lucky enough. This is not music as I define, it's memorization and regurgitation without understanding what's happening.
One girl who's barely 4 wanted to learn piano. Barely FOUR. Can't even speak well nor understand enough English to comprehend, need less to say, Italian terms would have to wait for another 3-4 years before they can be memorized. She's just learning to write, she can't control her own fingers well enough for fine motor activities, let alone hitting the piano machine. I looked at her sitting in my class and felt sinful. I know I'm killing the musicality in the girl. She's going to give up sooner than we can say 'piano'.
ShinShin said I'm lost. Yup, "lost" seems like an appropriate word. I can't bring myself to think that I'm doing it all just for the pay. I'm slowly losing it yet I feel that I need to carry on to save up enough for my upcoming trip.
Perhaps it's not for me after all, it's not working out, isn't it?
今晚放工后的许多感想
I am a fast paced person. I can tolerate that you are a slow learner, but you have got to learn to listen to fast paced speech.
It's not a difficult task to sing with a blocked nose, but to sing in porch, that's another thing.
WHAT!?! You haven't practised your piece since the last lesson?!?!!? So did I. But you are the student, so play NOW!
This is a nice song. I like. Play it again for me. I like.
계속이나 그만 둘까
음악 이 힐은 내 취향이 아닌것같아. 돈 잘 벌고 일은 시간도 줗지만 여기서 나 욕심안 나. 그냥 할 수 있는 정도까지 해야 너무 열심히 노력하지도 않아.
이제 좋은 기희를 난다. 한국에 갈수 있는 기희. 어떻게 하나... 가서 그만 둘까. 가서 계속할까. 이제 말할까. 말할지 않을가. 계속 해서 다른일도 시작할까... 나 잘몰라.
이제 좋은 기희를 난다. 한국에 갈수 있는 기희. 어떻게 하나... 가서 그만 둘까. 가서 계속할까. 이제 말할까. 말할지 않을가. 계속 해서 다른일도 시작할까... 나 잘몰라.
New Job
Old job? Went back once, missed them so dearly. I stopped looking back. Some little things pop up and make my giggle when I think of the funny things with the kids. But I'm done with carrying all the responsibilities on me.
New job? I don't go crazy all day with the kids. No huggly snuggly all day, but I get an average of 4 hugs a week from the toddlers. I don't go crazy about the job, it's not so much of a roller coaster, but exciting nonetheless. I'm singing more, practicing my rusty fingers on the keyboard. Trying to invent musical games to break through the boring piano lessons.
I work everyday, with several hours of break in between to go for luncheons or naps or shopping trips with loved ones. I sing, dance, play and just be jolly is a big part of the job. Another big change is that my new boss is really passionate about her job. She believes in education and is all in for the children. She spends for the children what she thinks they need, and wouldn't cut on the necessities though she is thrifty. She is a people-person yet she has her principles and treat everyone the same.
I'm not sure if this is what I want to keep doing. I felt it so strongly with the previous job, but it has yet to come to me with the new job... But this is definitely one option which I could keep open for myself.
New job? I don't go crazy all day with the kids. No huggly snuggly all day, but I get an average of 4 hugs a week from the toddlers. I don't go crazy about the job, it's not so much of a roller coaster, but exciting nonetheless. I'm singing more, practicing my rusty fingers on the keyboard. Trying to invent musical games to break through the boring piano lessons.
I work everyday, with several hours of break in between to go for luncheons or naps or shopping trips with loved ones. I sing, dance, play and just be jolly is a big part of the job. Another big change is that my new boss is really passionate about her job. She believes in education and is all in for the children. She spends for the children what she thinks they need, and wouldn't cut on the necessities though she is thrifty. She is a people-person yet she has her principles and treat everyone the same.
I'm not sure if this is what I want to keep doing. I felt it so strongly with the previous job, but it has yet to come to me with the new job... But this is definitely one option which I could keep open for myself.
The End
An ex-colleague texted me declaring that today is a good day as it's the start of a new job, and even though I've had bad working experience previously, I learned and gained from it.
First thing, he likes to declare things. So let's just get it over with.
Secondly, it's not the start of a new job for it started a month ago, however unofficial it was. *wink*
Thirdly, I've had a wonderful working experience, too wonderful that I never wanted to stop. Well, maybe a baby part of it became ugly towards the end, but it's an overall phenomenal experience which I would no doubt live over it again if I'm given the choice to.
=) I shall only feel the liberatedness/boredom/awesomeness on Monday when I don't have to wake up early for work! At least I get half a day off first! The most obvious difference between both jobs are the working hours. I don't have to wake up early to travel no more, for my workplace is 5 mins away, and duh, classes are late, till night. But yoohoo! It's going to be a great change~
First thing, he likes to declare things. So let's just get it over with.
Secondly, it's not the start of a new job for it started a month ago, however unofficial it was. *wink*
Thirdly, I've had a wonderful working experience, too wonderful that I never wanted to stop. Well, maybe a baby part of it became ugly towards the end, but it's an overall phenomenal experience which I would no doubt live over it again if I'm given the choice to.
=) I shall only feel the liberatedness/boredom/awesomeness on Monday when I don't have to wake up early for work! At least I get half a day off first! The most obvious difference between both jobs are the working hours. I don't have to wake up early to travel no more, for my workplace is 5 mins away, and duh, classes are late, till night. But yoohoo! It's going to be a great change~
Liberated
I think I should feel liberated, which I am not.
I packed my stuff; didn't want to leave anything behind so that no one would know I was here, wanting to leave something so they'd remember I've been here. What started as so beautiful has ended sadly. The work started with making me feel like I could go on forever but ended making me dread each moment.
Ihaven't broke the news to most parents, and it made me feel that life still goes on the same. I didn't tell the children much today, it felt exactly like a normal day. I talk to parents I say goodbye I play with the kids then in the end when I decided I would like a hug from everyone I almost cried. The children, still oblivious of what's happening, and slowly are feeling the loss of teachers once he/she is gone for a while, I feel sorry for them. I felt responsible for bringing this black stain into their lives.
I packed my stuff; didn't want to leave anything behind so that no one would know I was here, wanting to leave something so they'd remember I've been here. What started as so beautiful has ended sadly. The work started with making me feel like I could go on forever but ended making me dread each moment.
I
Tone
My job is coming to an end with this employer, and there he is, calling, and insisted on documents which I have prepared but yet to send it to him due to no internet connection (which he has terminated to cut the effing cost). So I said I'll send it to him when I get internet connection. There's nothing wrong with the whole conversation being read out, but in reality he was sounding rude. He didn't talk to me as a person, he talked to a machine which he has paid to work.
I've known that he is just using everyone, I've came to realize this sad fact not too long ago, silly me. But this time as he used that tone on me with all due respect he's my boss but seriously, no human being speaks to another like that when asking for a favor. Just a week ago he was thanking me for every single thing I do (which I clearly know is stupid and insincere) and asked me to stay and said I'll be welcomed back any time. No shit.
I ended the conversation feeling thankful that I'm not going to work under him anymore. I feel sorry for my kids. Yet I'm thankful they are not under him, better people are looking after them, people with heart.
School
Today we went around visiting schools. I think we went to at least 8. Some were famous, some were not. Some were clean, some were messy. Some had awesome playground, some did not. Some has this, some has not.
In the end it boils down to conclude which was the best. I said I like light, the first one scored average pass for all aspects, except that it doesn't have much sunlight shining in. The last 2nd had an awesome playground and all, but the class was way too small to fit 2 teachers and 10 3 year olds. Some were messy, Some had rude teachers, some had creepy teachers LOL.
I didn't know how to conclude. Deep down my heart told me, that our school scores the best. Big space, it's clean, we have a decent playground, and a great curriculum. But it all doesn't really matter now, does it?
In the end it boils down to conclude which was the best. I said I like light, the first one scored average pass for all aspects, except that it doesn't have much sunlight shining in. The last 2nd had an awesome playground and all, but the class was way too small to fit 2 teachers and 10 3 year olds. Some were messy, Some had rude teachers, some had creepy teachers LOL.
I didn't know how to conclude. Deep down my heart told me, that our school scores the best. Big space, it's clean, we have a decent playground, and a great curriculum. But it all doesn't really matter now, does it?
Ending
The closer it gets, the wronger it feels. Things are not looking good, I wish I can announce that to the world in which it matters. It's not going to fall apart, but I seriously don't have faith. He says I don't have faith, in anything at all, which is so true. Perhaps the pessimist in me is putting up a show pretending it's all going to be alright when deep inside I feel the wall is crumbling down on me.
I need to stop thinking about this, I told myself. But how am I supposed to dump all the people who matters to me so much so much in distress and uncertainty, let alone say their personal safety.
I did something unprofessional today. But I felt I was doing my job. It was exhausting, torn between myself and I the entire day trying to figure out what's right and wrong.
-----
He said find something I want to do. Something which I'm passionate of, feel happy doing it and wouldn't bother if I have to give an extra mile. I think I've found it. But I'm leaving it now. Perhaps one day I'll continue this journey which I am taking a little turn away now.
Disappointment
I'm done with the crap. I feel so sorry for being the front line person. I introduce parents to bring their children in, I do all the talking and delivering, now that I'm leaving, nothing is happening to keep it up.
Leaving when the school is a great mess is not helping the farewell. I'm done being angry for you not doing anything, I'm guessing maybe you're taking this chance to close the business down once and for all. This is after all a business to you. You don't care if the children learn or get quality childcare, all these are your marketing talk. You want the money not the work or the children nor deliver whatsoever education, You don't care if your teachers overwork. I love my children but I'm done spoiling you making use of my care. I want to tell the parents about how you want their money and don't want to spend on their children, but I can't. When the parents come for a try out I want to tell them to go to another school because our school is in a big problem and can't cater for her child but I can't. I should have just left instead of extending. I want to tell the teacher who came for a day and quit that he's a stupid person and an irresponsible loser. I want to tell the teachers to hang on and try their best. I'm sorry I have to leave now, but it's decided and it will be done. I'm trying my best to help but I'm not in the position to do much. I feel sorry but it's not my fault. I've voiced my dilemma out to a fellow colleague only to burden her more I am thankful yet sorry for that. Everyday I go to work feeling so stressed up and sorry and disappointed and with regret. I want to bring all my kids with me but I can't. I want to announce to the world that I'm leaving and so are some other teachers, and the school's in big trouble and they need to. HELP
Leaving when the school is a great mess is not helping the farewell. I'm done being angry for you not doing anything, I'm guessing maybe you're taking this chance to close the business down once and for all. This is after all a business to you. You don't care if the children learn or get quality childcare, all these are your marketing talk. You want the money not the work or the children nor deliver whatsoever education, You don't care if your teachers overwork. I love my children but I'm done spoiling you making use of my care. I want to tell the parents about how you want their money and don't want to spend on their children, but I can't. When the parents come for a try out I want to tell them to go to another school because our school is in a big problem and can't cater for her child but I can't. I should have just left instead of extending. I want to tell the teacher who came for a day and quit that he's a stupid person and an irresponsible loser. I want to tell the teachers to hang on and try their best. I'm sorry I have to leave now, but it's decided and it will be done. I'm trying my best to help but I'm not in the position to do much. I feel sorry but it's not my fault. I've voiced my dilemma out to a fellow colleague only to burden her more I am thankful yet sorry for that. Everyday I go to work feeling so stressed up and sorry and disappointed and with regret. I want to bring all my kids with me but I can't. I want to announce to the world that I'm leaving and so are some other teachers, and the school's in big trouble and they need to. HELP
Today in my piano class, 2 boys, 8 and 9.
The boy reminded me so much of Daniel, his quirky personality, his smile and his logic. Made me LOL never fail.
Anyways, while he was writing his work, he suddenly asked, "今天还是农历7月吗？”
I didn't register what he was asking, for children do not usually ask if it's still the 7th month of the Chinese calendar (ghost month).
The boy sitting opposite him replied bluntly, “不是，今天8月初一了咯。。。”
I broke out into LOL on the spot.
Then I realized what I've gotten myself into. From an English teacher, working with children from very diversed background, here, the children are very Chinese Chinese. I shall need some time to adjust to these...
The boy reminded me so much of Daniel, his quirky personality, his smile and his logic. Made me LOL never fail.
Anyways, while he was writing his work, he suddenly asked, "今天还是农历7月吗？”
I didn't register what he was asking, for children do not usually ask if it's still the 7th month of the Chinese calendar (ghost month).
The boy sitting opposite him replied bluntly, “不是，今天8月初一了咯。。。”
I broke out into LOL on the spot.
Then I realized what I've gotten myself into. From an English teacher, working with children from very diversed background, here, the children are very Chinese Chinese. I shall need some time to adjust to these...
Work
It has been disastrous so far, the past 2 weeks at least. I've been working my ass off while my boss says he felt sorry for me and wants me to stay working with him and he'll increase my pay by less than 10%. Dude, please. (I'm thinking the troll face)
We're one man short, and everyday for the past week at least 1 person is on leave or MC. Monday and Thursday we have 2 teachers on MC/Leave at the effing same time I felt like I could die overworking. This morning I was so busy I didn't get time to pee for hours. My chest hurt so much I sat down almost breaking down when a kid came to ask me if I was ok. I felt like dying literally. Can it all go away yet, please? When parents ask if we're ok I say we're ok, but when these times come I doubt that I've been telling the whole truth. I feel like a big fat liar, yet I can't tell the truth. I've promised to deliver and I try my best, but my best is not good enough. I'm lagging behind tasks and people are not happy about it, and I am not happy about it.
Today a parent walked-in to enquire, I think I did a great job in answering her queries. I felt like this is something I can do so well, I am so confident in and can manage so well. I felt bad that I'm leaving what I know I do best. But I know I must leave because I have promised, and most of all, it's not a healthy team anymore. The money and selfishness and tak-apa and oblivious, my heart aches so bad so bad.
Tomorrow is one more day and I wish it would turn out just fine.
We're one man short, and everyday for the past week at least 1 person is on leave or MC. Monday and Thursday we have 2 teachers on MC/Leave at the effing same time I felt like I could die overworking. This morning I was so busy I didn't get time to pee for hours. My chest hurt so much I sat down almost breaking down when a kid came to ask me if I was ok. I felt like dying literally. Can it all go away yet, please? When parents ask if we're ok I say we're ok, but when these times come I doubt that I've been telling the whole truth. I feel like a big fat liar, yet I can't tell the truth. I've promised to deliver and I try my best, but my best is not good enough. I'm lagging behind tasks and people are not happy about it, and I am not happy about it.
Today a parent walked-in to enquire, I think I did a great job in answering her queries. I felt like this is something I can do so well, I am so confident in and can manage so well. I felt bad that I'm leaving what I know I do best. But I know I must leave because I have promised, and most of all, it's not a healthy team anymore. The money and selfishness and tak-apa and oblivious, my heart aches so bad so bad.
Tomorrow is one more day and I wish it would turn out just fine.
Work
Old job is coming to an end, a messy one really. New job has started, slightly better than my expected doom.
The old job is going downhill. I'm glad I'm leaving, the kids are still rather oblivious of what's happening, which is good, for now. For the past week the boss is here, getting me to do this and that, keeping me super busy to worry about what will happen to the kids when I leave. There will be new teachers coming in, looking promising, but even with that the boss wants to twist and turn facts around WTH. Frankly it wasn't a job too challenging, but the way it was carried out and managed, I found it so taxing and stressful. Lies were spread around. We're told to keep secrets but it was announced to the public. There are different versions of storyline of the same incident which happened. We're all being fooled and manipulated around. Transparency, trust, whatever he said are all lies. He thinks we're idiots who would believe him. Yes I was one big fat idiot but now I know. I'm so fed up and upset and stressed about the whole situation. For the past few days I got so worked up with him around I had so much anger built inside of me my heart beat so fast I had a hard time breathing normally. I'm glad that he's leaving today and for the next 3 weeks I'm going to be there he'll be gone.
The new job started with a baby class. I was expecting to observe classes first, but then the existing teacher decided to quit early, so I got 4 days notice to prepare for the baby class. It's half an hour, but I needed to sing and recite poems and play instruments, there was a long list of songs to do which totally freaked me out. I practised and asked for advise. It didn't go too bad, but I expected doom so it was a pass for me. First song into the session I struggled to remember the 6 verses of lyrics, had a hard time catching my own breath in between lines, and in the end gasped for big breathes and ran way out of key and tune. OMG. In the middle it was acceptable, I recited the wrong words for they rhyme, I called the kid a wrong name, which all I quickly corrected confidently. I was so glad when we sang the goodbye song I quickly broke into the singing, which then I realized I was singing the wrong tune. Super crappy. Parents and children froze to stare at me, and I quickly stopped to say, "Whoops, sorry, wrong song" and sang the class' tune. Knowing more than 1 goodbye song is no good.
And I have other piano classes, which are easy but boring. You come you play the piano I say "COUNT THE BEATS" "NO, this is C not A" and stuff like that, you go write on your workbook and I say "WHAT IS THIS?" "Do this" "Not like this" tuition style and they go home. Relaxing but requires a lot of sitting (Actually it's sitting the whole time) which means I'm gonna grow a big bum soon. =P
So that's it. I'm going to sing in pitch and in rhythm and be good in it! I'm so going to miss my kiddos, playing and rolling on the floor and tickling them and all. It's going to be so different. Yet I'm super glad that I'm leaving the workplace away from the boss.
The old job is going downhill. I'm glad I'm leaving, the kids are still rather oblivious of what's happening, which is good, for now. For the past week the boss is here, getting me to do this and that, keeping me super busy to worry about what will happen to the kids when I leave. There will be new teachers coming in, looking promising, but even with that the boss wants to twist and turn facts around WTH. Frankly it wasn't a job too challenging, but the way it was carried out and managed, I found it so taxing and stressful. Lies were spread around. We're told to keep secrets but it was announced to the public. There are different versions of storyline of the same incident which happened. We're all being fooled and manipulated around. Transparency, trust, whatever he said are all lies. He thinks we're idiots who would believe him. Yes I was one big fat idiot but now I know. I'm so fed up and upset and stressed about the whole situation. For the past few days I got so worked up with him around I had so much anger built inside of me my heart beat so fast I had a hard time breathing normally. I'm glad that he's leaving today and for the next 3 weeks I'm going to be there he'll be gone.
The new job started with a baby class. I was expecting to observe classes first, but then the existing teacher decided to quit early, so I got 4 days notice to prepare for the baby class. It's half an hour, but I needed to sing and recite poems and play instruments, there was a long list of songs to do which totally freaked me out. I practised and asked for advise. It didn't go too bad, but I expected doom so it was a pass for me. First song into the session I struggled to remember the 6 verses of lyrics, had a hard time catching my own breath in between lines, and in the end gasped for big breathes and ran way out of key and tune. OMG. In the middle it was acceptable, I recited the wrong words for they rhyme, I called the kid a wrong name, which all I quickly corrected confidently. I was so glad when we sang the goodbye song I quickly broke into the singing, which then I realized I was singing the wrong tune. Super crappy. Parents and children froze to stare at me, and I quickly stopped to say, "Whoops, sorry, wrong song" and sang the class' tune. Knowing more than 1 goodbye song is no good.
And I have other piano classes, which are easy but boring. You come you play the piano I say "COUNT THE BEATS" "NO, this is C not A" and stuff like that, you go write on your workbook and I say "WHAT IS THIS?" "Do this" "Not like this" tuition style and they go home. Relaxing but requires a lot of sitting (Actually it's sitting the whole time) which means I'm gonna grow a big bum soon. =P
So that's it. I'm going to sing in pitch and in rhythm and be good in it! I'm so going to miss my kiddos, playing and rolling on the floor and tickling them and all. It's going to be so different. Yet I'm super glad that I'm leaving the workplace away from the boss.
Done
2 more weeks and I'm done.
I feel less angry and more free. I cruise by trying my best to serve them well, and taking it less personally. I guess it should have been that way since the beginning, and it was. It just somehow went wrong in the middle when the devil in me was let out. After some soul searching I'm slowly taming the devil, and we're on fairly good terms now... hopefully.
I feel less angry and more free. I cruise by trying my best to serve them well, and taking it less personally. I guess it should have been that way since the beginning, and it was. It just somehow went wrong in the middle when the devil in me was let out. After some soul searching I'm slowly taming the devil, and we're on fairly good terms now... hopefully.
迟
今天两个负责开门大吉的人都迟到了。不是一分钟，不是两分钟，而是足足20分钟。我出们载了孩子们回来的时候大门才刚刚开的，准时到而不被信任锁匙的老师的，与准时的孩子们一块儿等得快气死了。
其中一个负责人比我还要迟到，到了脸黑黑，还乱发脾气。迟到了还乱发脾气，我呸！迟到不是一两次了，不被开除就偷笑了，还要摆脸色。这里真得太没有道理和规则了。谁敢就称王，为所欲为，横行霸道。
我努力带着愉快的心情，不埋怨，尽量不受着负面影响。但是说真的，我受够了。你不想想你的表现会影响学校的形象也该想想你的表现直接显示你个人的人品。你们的态度，一起工作其实是很累人的，你知道吗……
其中一个负责人比我还要迟到，到了脸黑黑，还乱发脾气。迟到了还乱发脾气，我呸！迟到不是一两次了，不被开除就偷笑了，还要摆脸色。这里真得太没有道理和规则了。谁敢就称王，为所欲为，横行霸道。
我努力带着愉快的心情，不埋怨，尽量不受着负面影响。但是说真的，我受够了。你不想想你的表现会影响学校的形象也该想想你的表现直接显示你个人的人品。你们的态度，一起工作其实是很累人的，你知道吗……
Babysitting
=) Babysitting again. More formally in a way, after all it's a non-family member. It's a school kid who is close to me. It's nice to go to his house, he showed me his toys and played with me we played together. Extra play time is always awesome, playing with kids without the teaching responsibility is even awesomer. Poor kid he kept confusing it's time to go to school even it's night time. But I think he's happy with me there, and little did he know I'm happier to be there.
Several moments made me rethink of all of it which are going around. My children are the ones whom I can't let go off. But since everyone is thinking about themselves only I need to stop thinking about them before I do for myself. For once I'm thinking for myself, but I'm doubting my decision so badly. I don't want to be toyed around anymore, but I don't want to hurt my kids. Maybe they'll be fine, maybe I'm overestimating myself...
As I was sitting there in front of the sleeping room door I thought about au pair. If that's what I want to do. Babysitting and helping out the children. It may be fun, it may be not. But it's not something I can think about now in the midst of chaos and confusion.
오늘밤 김이랑 같이 있는 추억을 오래오래 기역하고싶어. 이런 따뜻한 행복은 마음 속에 갖고서 힘 내는 이유를 된다.
Several moments made me rethink of all of it which are going around. My children are the ones whom I can't let go off. But since everyone is thinking about themselves only I need to stop thinking about them before I do for myself. For once I'm thinking for myself, but I'm doubting my decision so badly. I don't want to be toyed around anymore, but I don't want to hurt my kids. Maybe they'll be fine, maybe I'm overestimating myself...
As I was sitting there in front of the sleeping room door I thought about au pair. If that's what I want to do. Babysitting and helping out the children. It may be fun, it may be not. But it's not something I can think about now in the midst of chaos and confusion.
오늘밤 김이랑 같이 있는 추억을 오래오래 기역하고싶어. 이런 따뜻한 행복은 마음 속에 갖고서 힘 내는 이유를 된다.
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