Babysitting

=) Babysitting again. More formally in a way, after all it's a non-family member. It's a school kid who is close to me. It's nice to go to his house, he showed me his toys and played with me we played together. Extra play time is always awesome, playing with kids without the teaching responsibility is even awesomer. Poor kid he kept confusing it's time to go to school even it's night time. But I think he's happy with me there, and little did he know I'm happier to be there.

Several moments made me rethink of all of it which are going around. My children are the ones whom I can't let go off. But since everyone is thinking about themselves only I need to stop thinking about them before I do for myself. For once I'm thinking for myself, but I'm doubting my decision so badly. I don't want to be toyed around anymore, but I don't want to hurt my kids. Maybe they'll be fine, maybe I'm overestimating myself...

As I was sitting there in front of the sleeping room door I thought about au pair. If that's what I want to do. Babysitting and helping out the children. It may be fun, it may be not. But it's not something I can think about now in the midst of chaos and confusion.

오늘밤 김이랑 같이 있는 추억을 오래오래 기역하고싶어. 이런 따뜻한 행복은 마음 속에 갖고서 힘 내는 이유를 된다.