Oh Goodie

Did I tell you how awesome my job is?

I "work" practically all the time.
Driving while listening to my class' music
Singing to any songs to train my vocals (*wink* I'm slowly developing stronger vocals now, thank goodness!)
When I can grab a kid (baby/toddler) I just break into bouncing and singing, they just love it, and I can practice while playing with them! 

But the awesome thing is I can prepare for work while I do so many other things together. I can Facebook/ read K-pop news (not that I do much) while song are played so that they are drilled into my head, and when the class comes I can sing and dance to it like *snap* piece of cake.

I'm learning to enjoy practicing the piano, although any higher grades' materials are still difficult and finds me very lazy to look at it. But I'm progressing, like a snail.

I may enjoy it very much, but it isn't what I'm looking for. Maybe something part time just for the fun of it. I still want to be in a play-school. I knew it when I read "The Secret" I realized this wasn't in my dream. I'm planning. It may take years, it may not. But it's going to happen.

Dream

Late night extra caffeine drinking session.
I slept. But dreamed all night, with the most amazing details. Ever.

I had a long long long long dream, I remember every single detail. From the beginning till the end.It was a whole story, with a little magic, and lots of logic.
The rain, the green grass the people were jumping about on in the rain.
The child.
LaiThin. (LOL! You were a bully in the dream!)
The child's curly hair. His innocent eyes.
The road. The shops.
The winter clothings on the rack.
His black hair and eyebrows.
The colored fishes, and the eraser.
The door, the tables.
The expression.

It was in such detail that when I woke up, even though I was really really tired, I was excited and in awe by the details I can remember from the dream. It was like a big shout out "Wow!" It was an awesome experience.

My future house

I've been looking around. Calculating. It's upsetting that what I earn and have now will never get me close to owning a house.

I don't want no fancy big house. It's good for looking and visiting but not good for staying and maintaining. I would like a small place, a tall roof would be a plus then I can have a loft style thingy. A small cozy place with big windows that allows Mr Golden Sun to shine through. Nope, no grass no garden. If it's not a condo then maybe I'll consider planting a big tree for good shade, but that's the max I can accept in the green division.

High school graduation

Foreword: This is a dream

It was time to go back to the high school. Early morning, the sky was still indigo. I got changed into my favorite green shirt. I hopped onto the Toyota Unser, along with a boy in dark blue uniform (who was supposed to be an acquaintance not family), his mum and dad in the front. The dad zoomed off for breakfast so quickly the acceleration made me jerk.

Next scene, we reached the school. The boy hopped off quickly and crossed the road to join his friends. I went down slowly, walking into the once so familiar school. The morning class kids were still there. And in the dream, it didn't appear weird that the morning session kids were primary 1-3 kids. So the high school kids were waiting outside of the classes in the corridor.

I walked around awkwardly. Then I spotted an old friend sitting beside the small drain by the corridor, waiting. Just like the old times. I walked up to her and she looked up. She smiled at me. I remembered that her name is Poh Yi; though we've never ever been close in any way.

I sat down beside her and started to try to create some small talk. Then this thin girl who has darker skin came and sat in front of us with her leftover fries. (She looked very similar to the girl I bumped into in the mall 2 weeks ago, in real life)

I studied their uniforms. The blue pinnafore now is in a V-neck fashion, and there is a measuring tape like thingy around the collar, as if measuring the width of their necks. The school emblem looked was blue, with some fire thingy burning on it. It was weird, but everyone were wearing it and they seemed very comfortable with it.

I looked down, I awkwardly tell my friends that I haven't been in my uniform for ages, I don't know if it's still there in the wardrobe or not. I was embarrassed being the only person in sight without a uniform on. And shit I forgot, I was wearing my pajama pants. (in real life it was exactly what i was wearing while dreaming)

I looked up and saw one boy wearing his home clothes, standing far far away from us. He was YitFung, from my high school and primary school class. He was standing by the pillar by himself, I guess he feels weird and left out too. But at least he was dressed up smartly, not in his PJs.

Suddenly I panicked and asked, what were we doing there, are we going into the classes to take our attendance for graduation ceremony? Or are we going to share about what we've done after graduation with the class? My ambition? My family? My future plans? My working experiences?

PohYi and the other girl turned to me with their mouth stuffed with fries. I realized they're not my clique of friends for real.

Then I woke up.

-----

Effing dream which had so much detail. It was interesting, but snatched my sleep away. Grrr

Blu-tac

There is a boy in school who just started picking up this habit of peeling blu-tac off our teaching materials and put it into his mouth to chew. We've tried many ways to stop him doing it, and so far nothing seemed to have worked very well.

Last night I had a really horrible dream about it.

I was preparing some materials as I left the big blob of used blu-tac on the table. The boy came and managed to pinched a bit and pop it into his mouth to chew. I saw it and quickly get hold of the big blob on the table, went off to reprimand his behavior.

He cried for sympathy like he always does, then I popped the big blob into my mouth and started to chew as I reasoned with him even further. I chewed and chewed and it actually tasted very nice.

Then the next scene switched to me brushing my teeth, but all the sticky stuff stuck onto my teeth like my gums. I had to use my fingers to dig and scrape to make the thick layer of blu-tac come out of my teeth and out of my mouth.

It wasn't particularly scary at that moment of dream, but when I woke up and chewed on my real food, it was extremely disgusting I could smell blu-tac in my food.

Blu-tac

There is a boy in school who just started picking up this habit of peeling blu-tac off our teaching materials and put it into his mouth to chew. We've tried many ways to stop him doing it, and so far nothing seemed to have worked very well.

Last night I had a really horrible dream about it.

I was preparing some materials as I left the big blob of used blu-tac on the table. The boy came and managed to pinched a bit and pop it into his mouth to chew. I saw it and quickly get hold of the big blob on the table, went off to reprimand his behavior.

He cried for sympathy like he always does, then I popped the big blob into my mouth and started to chew as I reasoned with him even further. I chewed and chewed and it actually tasted very nice.

Then the next scene switched to me brushing my teeth, but all the sticky stuff stuck onto my teeth like my gums. I had to use my fingers to dig and scrape to make the thick layer of blu-tac come out of my teeth and out of my mouth.

It wasn't particularly scary at that moment of dream, but when I woke up and chewed on my real food, it was extremely disgusting I could smell blu-tac in my food.

Options

Suddenly there were options.

It's weird, having to choose between what's best now, and what might be better later.

One is the dream, to go teach in Korea.

One is the money, to go teach in Singapore.

One is the current, to continue teaching here.

I like it here. But to fulfil a dream would be great. And to get more money would be ideal. But here it's awesome ideal and great too. It's just something I need to figure out. Soon.

so.

so here it is.

i finally got the reply from the family.

it's a no-no cuz next year is apparently too late for them. i've wasted 2 weeks waiting for a nothing and they tell me they can't wait 6 weeks. i hope they find someone better than me, though that's not going to be a difficult thing.... sigh.

i'm kinda disappointed. kinda. a lot. but i'm glad the deal is finally off. at least i don't have to check my mail that frequently expecting a good reply.

it sucks. but such is life. i guess now i can plan my long vacation next year.

Dream

I dreamed of a man, and a boy.

It was a vivid dream, but the moment the alarm clock rang, all I remembered was the man and the boy who weren't main characters in the dream. They were friends of friends, sitting at another table in the restaurant, sort of a background kind of character, but the impression of them was so deep.

They were not a happy pair of father and sound. They were not important, but they left deep impression. I dreamed of them.

USM Students Most Wanted concert

Last night I attended the first concert of my life. Nope, not super hit Korean stars, not over 200bucks ticket, but it was utterly awesome. It's a 10bucks ticket university students musical concert, more of the music appreciation kind rather than the rise and jump to the beats like mad, but it was definitely a concert.

The event was supposed to start at 7.30pm, oh well, to be fair, they started playing the advertisement videos at 7.30pm sharp. But then we were left to wait again, by the time the event director, and assistant, and very important guest and yada yada yada people get up the stage to lecture and receive presents it was my bedtime already. Nah, just kidding, but it was very late alright.

As soon as the music started to roll, it was amazing. Like phenomenal kind of amazing. The voices were beautiful, the musicians were awesome (well, maybe except that first violinist who kinda screwed up perhaps due to stage fright or crowd fright), the in-between sketches were creative, original and so funny! I can't say for every single audience, but I and most people sure had good laughs and didn't want the show to end!

What made the show even more special and meaningful to me was that there was a little video of our school's children telling who they love and how they show love. Aww, the kids did really well, and kudos to the photographer and the editor who made the video looked so fantastic and heart warming. =) I was all smiles, mouth hanging ear to ear throughout the video.

I was truly inspired, at the same time felt so little. Inspired by how a bunch of students can come together and produce such wonderful music and show, all through their own efforts by means of their own, driven by dream and passion. Felt so little knowing that I'm so capable yet not-driven and incapable.

It was the RM10 most well spent.

Kid

I flipped through my student's blog which the parents keep for him. It's really great with all the pictures from birth till now. I learned a lot about the kid from it, what he does, what the parents do, etc.

I wanted to tell the mum "Hey, I saw you guys attending JGC previously, I was there last year! Isn't it a great place?" but realized maybe it's not that appropriate, she might think it's not so great here. Which is what I somehow think.

I see how the dad plays a big part in his life. They swim, go shopping, play the piano, do boys stuff. Going lunches with the mum, going to the park, here and there. All looks so fun. I wanna do that with my kiddo. =)

Chasing Dreams

I got a pretty decent offer to pursue one of my life goals recently.
For the first time I felt so right, and almost went for it. But I got held back by so called responsibilities, and not breaking trust people had on me.

I got so frustrated, for I know what I want, yet am always not chasing after my dreams. For my dreams are not socially or monetarily beneficial. I can't live off living my dreams, I have responsibilities and bigger dreams, but are these just excuses I made for myself just because I'm scared to make a change or take a risk?

I "talked" to an elderly today. I told him I'm working in a preschool. I never expected him to be different from the society, but still it was a disappointment. He told me, "Yea, it's a good experience. After all you're still young. Soon when the time comes you can change to bigger corporation." And I knew it was time to shut off the following advises.

I know, and understand, how difficult it is to chase a dream, for everyone else's so called dreams are money.

Tonsils

I felt my tonsils tighten as I swallow. Yikes, my tonsils are swollen! No way! Recalculating. Great, I haven't got an attack this year, this must be the yearly swollen tonsils attack, right at the end of the year! Grrr.

Then I woke up. Swallowed. Nope, not swollen. Hehehehehehe, it was just a prank from my brain. But I still have the flu and gooey mucus stuck in the nasal passage. Sigh, please go away by tomorrow~

Italian

We were walking into the building, across the Hong Kong restaurant to go to the Italian for a meal. For Yenwei was with us and dad wanted to bring my friend for a good meal since she's visiting the town. (WTH? Italian of all things?) Jeremy was like, "Ooh, I went researching about the types of pasta just now and I want to try ... ( I forgot what Italian food name he said, but it sounded Italian)"
But then, grandpa was with us, and he suddenly sat down on the chair. I was like oh-no big time. Then dad decided that we would have Chinese DimSum since grandpa wants it (it's his favourite, and bak kut teh too). So we sat down at the round table. (When grandpa sat down he was at the rectangle long table)

The round table was too small for us. So we combined the rectangle tables with the round one. Making it into a lollipop shape (just for the sake of description). Then Heok sis came with JiaMay (what?!) but there wasn't enough space so we combined another rectangle table to make it longer. Then JiaMay has to sit on Heok sis' lap because there's not enough space. My uncle Heang was supposed to sit on the seat that Heok sis just sat on. Apparently he went shopping with his son Ming. In the mean time Jeremy mumbled something under his breath saying, "Ceh, I was actually looking forward to some authentic Italian and we came all the way to have this."

Note that how Yenwei the guest was suppose to be there but not seen in the entire picture. And Auntie Geaik Hong and Uncle Leow were supposed to be there too, but weren't. The setting was in Penang, but unlike how it looks like in reality, I always have another picture of Penang in my dreams, which almost always appear the same. It looks high-tech and advanced, yet built on an island. There are two high and fat towers, with bridges in between for people and cars. And that was supposed to be the airport some kinda thing, town center something. Just like how I have another version of Genting in my dreams that always appear to be the same in the dreams, yet very different from how Genting looks like in real life, it seems Penang has a dream version too. I wonder how it came about, and why it always looks the same.

Nightmare

To cut the long story short, I lost the brother. He was taken away by some Chinese guy and never to be found, along with my laptop and my play notes. The emotional pain of losing the brother was felt so deep, even though it was just a dream. Even after I wake up and realize that it was just a bad dream I felt like crying.

Weird Eye

It seems the weirdness of the left eye hasn't left yet. It doesn't hurt anymore, not red, nothing, but just feels teeny weeny weird. And it looks small. LOL it's half the size of my right eye, yeah imagine the smallness. But I can still see.

-----

I've been having funny dreams lately.
About a week ago. In the dream there was this boy. He's not someone I'm familiar with, but we were trying to play. Then he showed me his arm, the bone part of the wrist that bulges up, he had a red mosquito bite over there. Then I told him that I have one on the exact same spot too! The end.
LOL Somehow I think the boy was Dibs. LOL. Malaysian-ised Dibs.

Then this morning I went to China. To visit the earthquake site. Then I remembered YanLing saying that the northern people are big and tall. But the place I was going to visit was Ma Lao Shi and Zhang Lao Shi's hometown, the two are no where near big and all. Well Zhang Lao Shi is tall, but not gigantic. The end.
This definitely has a big thing to do with the blog posts Yan Ling posted yesterday. =)

I had a dream

I had a dream, which is really unusual for these days when I'm dead tired and don't remember any dreams.

It was sad and painful. A long continuous story, though there were some gaps in between. It's like a melodrama, something very familiar, but doesn't seem to be from any dramas I've watched. Maybe I have dreamed about it before?

It was a sad and painful dream. Questions about why, when, who etc were raised after I was up. What really happened, the character was in so much pain, physically and emotionally. Who was it?

OK Another Dream

We were in the cafeteria, sitting at the long table, eating I presume.

We, as in a bunch of people.

The Chinese girl across the table asked aloud about what a sweep would do. People ignored her, so I told her. "Sweeps mainly sweep. And talk to people. See, not everyone who comes to the amusement park plays, and they just wander around talking to people."

"And you clean cobwebs. And puke. And puke (Cuz she didn't hear me)."
She looked pretty shocked after that. I continued, "But I think only TL's clean pukes, so unless you're in a leadership position you don't have to clean pukes."

Then the scene changed.

We were sitting at the ride's queue. It was in CP, but the ride was wooden like the one in Kings' Island. *roll eyes to the wonder of dreams*

Wendy (Just because I thought of her last night? She plays Lizzy's position last summer, my buddy) sat across the queue. Then the African American guy was talking about something I can't remember now. Then I suddenly remembered and told Wendy, "I didn't bring any money with me! All I have in my bank account is USD5!" (actually I still have USD10) Then I sighed, "I didn't even bring my debit card!"

I thought of what happened just now at Kiddy Kingdom's rest area with Alexis (yes dreams can have flashbacks too).

I shouted to Wendy that I wanna test ride. Then she reminded me of what Alexis told us just now, that we can only sign up for test ride if our ride leader allows.

Back to the African American guy.

I told him I'm going back on Sunday (which is in 2 days' time) because I need to submit my thesis. I stared to freak out because here we are, processed in and waiting to do something and I haven't done my thesis yet, which is due in 2 days' time.

End of dream.

=( I wanna process in too...