So what now

I know I'm being just overly dramatic for missing the kids. But I really do.
I said I wouldn't leave, but I did. Sometimes it feels as if I'm cut off from the entire system, but hey, isn't this what I was hoping for in the first place?

I can see, from the teachers' faces, that this is not where I belong anymore. They try to be nice, but hey, thou shall not be here to boss us around, says their expression. I do not judge, but try to be grateful that they are doing well. At least the kids are nice. That's why I work with children, they remember, and they don't judge, even upon abandonment. It makes me feel extra sorry.

I'm tired, pretending to be what I'm not. Pretending to be fine, holding up like a professional, so called.