Spend & Save

Lately I've been spending a lot.
Over the year of working I've been really thrifty/ stingy. Other than weekends and going out (which I hardly do), I don't spend much, except on breads and occasional eat outs at hawker stalls. I save as much as I can.

And in the end, it's not much. I can't buy no car no house nor expensive things because it would burn a huge hole on my savings. Then I started to think. What if. And I consulted my wise friends *wink*

Save: what if I die tomorrow.
Spend: what if I'd live a long life.

The other day I saw a school boy, who looked so much like Benjamin. Benjamin was a dear friend, we were not close, as he passed away when we started to get close. He was like a jolly little brother, whom just got reprimanded for being so playful and irresponsible by his godmum. Then he passed away after an asthma attack during his weekend holiday. It was a shock. He was just 16. One day he was there, and poof, the next day he's gone. Life can be so predictable with the routines but we'll never predict.

So I started to spend. Quite a bit compared to my old stingy self.
I buy myself starbucks coffee drinks,  which I have promised to buy myself once I started work, but never did till now.
I buy fresh milk, chocolate milk, laughing cow cheese, cheese, chocolate bars, cookies. Things I have always thought to be 'luxurious' and I can save on.
I go out shopping, not necessarily buying things, but just open up to opportunities of seeing and spending on little joys. I'd say I've bought quite a bit of stuff since the decision, but I won't say I've wasted any. Because I was too stingy to buy anything, but now I'd get whatever I'll use and put it to good use.
The most expensive one was my new cell phone. It was so expensive, but I decided WTH, my old phone is 5.5 years old, and I have the money now. What am I waiting for. And of course, I settled for a cheaper one than the iPhone due to stinginess, but heck I'm so happy with it now.

It's no big spend, but it's a big change because I'm having more real food and going out so much more, and more importantly I feel much freer.

So, if I die tomorrow, I wouldn't regret that I haven't bought myself nice food last night, or didn't buy that merchandise that I liked so much and knew I could use it.
But if I don't die soon, and live a long life, I still have a little savings, to pay my medical fees when I'm sick at an older age. I wouldn't last long, for it's not a grand saving, but at least I'll survive for a little more time than to die of regret immediately. =)