Scared

As I do all these I fear.
The more I plan and prepare, instead of getting more excited, I get more fearful.
What if it doesn't work out? My hopes and plans would crumble down into tiny biscuit crumbs. When the wind blows it'll blow my heart away, and the little ants will come carrying them away one by one as though mocking me of my stupidity in putting high hopes again.

I know better than not to do or plan, then I wouldn't be disappointed then try to pretend I'm fine with it.
That's why I've never really done it even though it's something that I wanted to do so much, because it's just so comfortable being what I am, and not risking the disappointment.