Phonics

(Long rant, you may skip with pleasure)

I'm teaching this special phonics enrichment class. Which is supposed to be good to the kids and me. Good that the kids are learning more in the fun way, and good for me to earn more when other kids come in. Thing is,  it's a new thing for me and for anyone in school, and it takes a lot of time for me to learn up the materials, explore and make sense out of it because nobody else knows it except for the guidebook and the internet.

So it's been going great for so long, I've seen growth in the children's reading abilities, so it's good. But now we're moving on to the next phase and the children are not getting it. For many they're too young to learn so I have to figure out alternate ways of teaching and more physical games to attract their attention.

These are solvable, and are not problems. Problem 1 is, we keep having kids coming in. And they have no basic of the program, which is a build-on thing, which we have learned for half a year. So they space out. Now I have at least 2 kids who space out in my 4 year old class, and half of my 3 year old class doesn't know what I'm talking about. Talk to the sup, the sup say, children pick up quickly, throw them into the class and they'll pick up. my head.

Problem 2, which I don't have a big problem with, but still is a dissatisfaction, is that I'm not paid extra for this. There was a verbal agreement that when children who don't attend our school comes in for this program, a part of their fees go to me. But I know my boss.

Problem 3, some days I want to go off but can't because some kids are coming in just for the program and if I leave we'll have to replace a whole series of class, which magnifies problem 4.

Problem 4, I've been trying to seek help from my fellow colleague, try to get her learning up the materials so that when I'm absent she can be a substitute teacher. The huge ass problem is with the lazy bum who doesn't want to learn up the materials. I mean, I don't need you to learn all the materials, but when I'm going off, the least I expect is that you learn up that particular class' materials to teach just for that day. Well she's not willing to. So I have to do it all by myself.

I'm not seeing where it is going now. I've fallen into this deep trap, engaging more and more students, while my sup have this mentality that it's all my responsibility because I wanted to start this program, which is crap. I am not given extra free time to prepare or what. I have 2 classes to prepare for, plus this and the music and movement which has gotten so repetitive and boring because I don't have any more time to worry about it. The boss keep saying get help from others, and guess what, nobody gives a shit other than help me help the kids in their art or writing during the 10minutes period. And everyone else is so busy with their things, either with lesson plans or preparing materials or checking their facebook or learning up their club/society song. And I need to do cleaning some more? Hello? I'm spending my time preparing and teaching, I don't have much time to look after the kids, and I have to wash toilets, do cleaning and all those crap! I'm not stressed, I'm not just stressed. I'm exploding.

Seriously I'm fed up. Especially at this point which I'm facing so much difficulty with carrying on with the class. And guess what, yesterday a kid was infected with HFM and I was assigned to clean up 3 spaces in the school, on the day I have a full schedule from morning till 5.30pm. Take a 15minute break and get to work again till 6.30pm. And nobody has bothered to tell me about this assignment. This is totally unrelated but it's shot out at the wrong timing and it's exploding me and my brain and my temper which I have promised myself to take control of.

Yesterday I was reading about med students study materials, and how the marines and navy struggle when they go to war. I have an easy life I told myself. But no. Alright, in comparison it's not that hard, but heck, come do this for a day and then you judge me.

It's not hormonal this time. I'm sick of you you you you and you. I'm so fed up. With the whole system and all.