Control

"I don't know" that's the phrase I use to stop people from asking further, to block out myself from digging in and exploring further, just because the insight might be too painful. Is that what I've been always doing?

I know how I should feel. But I don't know how I really do feel.
I was as frank as I could have been. Just like how I strive to be in real life, minimal censor, just be me; but I end up censoring all after all.

Feeling, and trust. That was the theme.
I shed tears, but did not cry.
As I word it out, I heard my voice shake. That was something that I would used to tell everyone and joke about it. But today I realized that it might be something that bothers me the most.

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"Even if I just stayed in my room, it was MY choice."
She said that's the most insightful thing that I've said. My choice. Ironic how it is UTAR's slogan. Blerh~