Life now

Ahhh, life has been... as usual. Nothing much has changed since July2014. Same morning routine, same route, same work place, same kids. Well, more kids. Same traffic, same stuff from the bosses. Nothing much has changed, really.

But I think I did. I feel different towards the job. Perhaps it's the break and recharge, perhaps it's a different attitude towards it now. I enjoy it as I go (read: more procrastination), I take things less seriously, I take the kids more seriously. I get upset over having less time with the kids as I get caught up with more preparation and cleaning up messes and toilet trips. But they still love me and I love'em as much so we try to make time for each other. LOL, so cheesy but yeah.

I'm thinking about doing more. Life here is always going to be different than in Korea or NZ. Life is is always going to be living in fear of being robbed, cheated and killed. It's going to be always so hot and humid and dusty and noisy. I'm still not used to family coming over everyday or two to chat and just be merry. And I actually grew up with all those people walking around and noise buzzing, I'm not used to it now. I miss the quiet evenings, undisrupted me-time. I miss walking on the road in peace, fiddling with my music whenever I have to, I miss cycling out just for some fresh air and stream water.

Day after day it's work and home, work and home, just to feed my car and the insurance company. Entering the hypermarket means heading towards bankruptcy. I can't believe how meaningless and penniless my life is now, I love my job and all, but being here it's not bringing me anywhere. And I'm only back on the job for 2 months.

 I'm thinking about doing more. Extra, as in get in more cash, burn up more couch-time. Maybe it'll work, maybe it'll not. For I want to do more, get a better qualification and get myself outta this evil cycle. I don't know.

Life now, it's as usual. Lost, penniless, and yearning for more.